Roll With the Changes

Perhaps only my own family and social circle can truly appreciate the irony of my latest career move. 

After a lifetime on the Tascosa Rebel side of the heated Tascosa-Amarillo High rivalry, I have joined the Sandie side as the new Special Teams Coordinator, Assistant Linebacker Coach, & Freshman DC at Amarillo High School. My younger,Tascosa grad self would be appalled. 

But my adult, 34-year old professional self has come to recognize that career moves have to be about personal opportunity, the right people, and the right times. Coach Dunnam was the first head coach I worked for back in Dumas, and for him to bring me to AHS means a lot. To join his program in this role was timely and puts me in a place to contribute to the most historically successful program I've worked in at the high school level. It presents a new challenge and a new standard, and I'm embracing all of it. 

My two years out at Highland Park were a whirlwind of frustration, joy, bewilderment, fulfillment, and downright dark comedy. I got to experience my dream of calling plays on Friday Nights, and to help in the rebuild of a program that was on its last legs before our arrival. I dove head first into the wild and unique world of small school football. I learned an incredible amount, and developed as a coach. But big schools in the metro are my roots, and returning to the familiarity of that world is exciting. And I have to say, to be coaching 5 minutes from my house is a welcome change from the 40-45 minute round trip I had for 2 years.

I would also be remiss if I didn't mention the mental health aspect of all of this. June marks Men's Mental Health Awareness month, and let me tell you, removing the stigma around mental health for men is especially important for coaches. 

The past year featured some major struggles for my mental health. I have dealt with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) for years, and anxiety and depressive moods became a consistent battle for me throughout the winter and spring of last year. My journey in that struggle has taken me all sorts of figurative places that I never anticipated. I work on meditation, mindfulness, altered morning and nighttime habits, changes in food and drink, and I go to therapy. Were I not doing these things, I shudder to think what my mental and physical health would be like. The only way forward is through changed habits and a changed mind (in the most literal sense).

For too long, the utterly stupid notion that struggle=weakness has pervaded our attitudes in most male-dominated professions. For some reason, generations past decided that we were not allowed to be full human beings; that we should not experience struggles in our minds and emotions. Rather, we are to just soldier through without dealing with our own internal struggles and trauma, reducing ourselves to short tempered jerks with no emotional availability. I fail to see how this does anyone any good. I CAN see, quite clearly, how this approach can turn people into creatures of resentment, bitterness, rage, and internalized regret. And I have no desire to leave that legacy behind for my own sons or to the student-athletes I work with. Rather, I want my legacy to be one of a man that faced his struggles, demons, and emotional traumas with courage, and had the humility to always work on becoming a better version of himself. THAT is the kind of thing coaches should model.

I'll get off that soapbox. But this move has a lot to do with that. Amarillo High offers me a chance to continue the work on my self, while returning to the robust support, infrastructure, and stability of the 5A world. As far as football goes, I am BEYOND excited to begin my work with the Sandies. Only 2 schools in the history of Texas High School Football have won more games than Amarillo High. To have the chance to put my own small mark on that huge legacy is humbling and exhilarating.  

Bring on Summer & Fall!